On December 8th, 2017 I went to Missouri State University for their second annual high school writing conference. I took four different writing classes which I quite enjoyed. They opened my eyes to different types of writing styles and techniques that I have never thought of. Below is what I wrote in my notebook that day.

The first class I took was “evolution of thinking” This is where we picked a phrase and wrote about how it made us feel. Then we thought about the different meanings it has had to us throughout the years and how it will change in the future.

“Everything happens for a reason” 12-08-17

Several bad experiences have come to pass. Some which I thought would never cease. Each and every one of the is another step down to path leading to me closer to where I need to be. If I wanted to I could sit for hours on end running through all the mistakes I have made and regretted, but it won’t change the past. When I take a step back to look at where I am I find that I am actually in a very good place mentally and physically. I’m getting closer and closer to the person I want to be. I’ve ditched the bad qualities of myself and replaces them with a positive outlook for the future. All the mistakes I have made and all the things that have hurt me are an example to me. They’re a remind of what I never want to become. At the end of the day no matter how much bad I’ve gone through I am extremely grateful for it. It has brought my closer to people who make me incredibly happy. Everything that happens to you happens for a reason. It happens to make you who you are.

Why? And how? 12-08-17

My thinking has changed because the older I got the more I grew as a person. I started to realize that even though terrible things will happen that there will always be a silver lining. After losing my grandpa I fell into a terrible place. I started to give up on myself and lost interest in most things. It took me two years to realize I needed to change that and now three years later I’m happier than I have ever been. I learned to never give up on myself and that you can always come back stronger. Even though there will still continue to be bad things I know that they don’t last forever. I can learn from my past self and grow more as a person.

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The next class I took was called writing marathon. This is where you go to two different parts of campus and sit down and start writing about something you can see and branch off onto whatever tangent you want.

Evergreen 12-08-17

The sun is shining in through a window down the hall creating lacy shadows on the opposite wall. Sitting here makes me think of what is to come next for me. It’s frightening to imagine this is finally it and that I’ve made it. I’m getting so close to adulthood. One year, nine months, seventeen days. There’s some sort of evergreen tree towering above the creamy colored building just outside. For some reason it reminds me of you and suddenly there it is. The same feeling I get when the place leaves the runway ascending into the sky. It’s a bit of a jittery, nervous, excited feelings. My heart starts beating just a little faster and I’m sitting here smiling like a fool just looking out the window. The tree maybe 100 yards to my right stands silently observing me sneak quick glances at it. It doesn’t mind the cold and neither do you. I’m not sure why, but every time I catch a glimpse of someone walking in through the door I assume it’s you. I just want it to be you I suppose. I can sense everyone’s presence around me and I wish I could take a look into their brains. I wish I could see what they’re thinking about. I’m certain no one could have as beautiful thoughts as I do. Because all that’s playing over is the memory of you smiling at me.

12-08-17

I’ve chosen a seat facing everyone just like usual. I don’t like sitting with my back to the door or any people. I don’t know if it’s because of some inherent fear of people watching me or because I like to be able to see everything happening around me. Maybe both. I keep putting up paper thin walls. They’re disguised as steel so that no one even attempts to break in. It would be so easy if anyone would try. I need someone to try and not just treat me like a china plate afterwards. I’m not fragile. I want to lay all my cards on the table so you can know everything. Then after reviewing them you can tell me if you want to stay. They treat me like a busted seam.

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The next class I took was called “fan fiction” It’s a class where we learn about what fan fiction is and how to write it. I’m not incredibly interested in it, but I enjoyed learning more about it.

Why I read and write 12-08-17

Read                                                                   Write

*escape                                                       *expression

*educate                                                     *explore alternate realities

*time passer                                              *memories

*mind opener/new ideas                    *record

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The last class I took was called “Justice league” here we took a song and picked out our favorite lyrics. Then we wrote what the lyrics made us feel and picked out our favorite phrases from our writing. We then used these to create a poem. I’m not comfortable with sharing my whole poem, but here is a snipet of it.

But, you talk about destruction

You won’t let anybody in

You tell me that it’s evolution

We’re traveling back

You ain’t going to make it with anyone anyhow

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Overall I really enjoyed this writing conference. I got to talk to new people and share ideas and opinions. I am very satisfied with the writing I accomplished there. I am planning to go back through most of it to revise and expand.