Poetry Collection: ongoing

This is a collection of poems I am writing with no theme.

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Truthfully

I am trapped within myself and don’t know how to escape

I have pretended to be someone new for people who mean nothing to me any longer

My heart is always on the verge of collapsing from the constant stress I put on it

I feel smothered by my own thoughts and what the future I cannot control

I can’t change the outcomes of the thousands of what ifs

Everyone hates me

It’s what I tell myself so I don’t have to make friends

Maintaining relationships is so troublesome

No, I don’t want to talk

It’s not that I hate you I just absolutely cannot interact with you for more than five minutes or else I’ll explode

I feel as if I am going to burst from dread or start sobbing at any minute

I can’t fix me

I know you don’t notice how hard I try to be like you

“Oh, sure I love meeting new people”

But no, no I do not

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Freckles

Your freckles are aligned like constellations

I could play connect the dots for hours

You hate them, I know

I don’t understand why

Maybe you’re afraid you will get skin cancer

My favorite lies directly on the skin placed right over your jaw bone

I ask you to donate some of them to me

My skin is boring

I have sun spots scattered over my arms and shoulders

A few on my legs

I create a false identity, dotting my cheeks and nose with brown speckles

I want to look like you

Why wouldn’t I, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen

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Treason

Am I making a mistake or is this just another part of getting older

I’ve missed your friendship and the sound of your voice

Last night I dreamt of you and we were happy

We were always so different but, now it seems we’re more similar than ever