This is a collection of poems I am writing with no theme.

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Truthfully

I am trapped within myself and don’t know how to escape

I have pretended to be someone new for people who mean nothing to me any longer

My heart is always on the verge of collapsing from the constant stress I put on it

I feel smothered by my own thoughts and what the future I cannot control

I can’t change the outcomes of the thousands of what ifs

Everyone hates me

It’s what I tell myself so I don’t have to make friends

Maintaining relationships is so troublesome

No, I don’t want to talk

It’s not that I hate you I just absolutely cannot interact with you for more than five minutes or else I’ll explode

I feel as if I am going to burst from dread or start sobbing at any minute

I can’t fix me

I know you don’t notice how hard I try to be like you

“Oh, sure I love meeting new people”

But no, no I do not

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Freckles

 

Your freckles are aligned like constellations

I could play connect the dots for hours

You hate them, I know

I don’t understand why

Maybe you’re afraid you will get skin cancer

 

My favorite lies directly on the skin placed right over your jaw bone

I ask you to donate some of them to me

My skin is boring

 

I have sun spots scattered over my arms and shoulders

A few on my legs

I create a false identity, dotting my cheeks and nose with brown speckles

I want to look like you

Why wouldn’t I, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen

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Treason

Am I making a mistake or is this just another part of getting older

I’ve missed your friendship and the sound of your voice

Last night I dreamt of you and we were happy

We were always so different but, now it seems we’re more similar than ever

Similar problems and similar wants

I wanted you to miss me

Listening to me ramble on about nothing just to pass the time

I don’t see how this isn’t a fair trade

Thank you

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What it Felt Like

 

Kind together again

You found me

Razor stare

The normal picture

Life looking speed sixty

Days end nowhere

Hours came, but wasn’t out

Blizzard

Just forget doing what couldn’t

Limbs trapped

Glasses on blad

That long legs

Would trying work

Arms over wrists

Yes, I’d like later sometimes

Because I know the future

Home, say depression

Focused mother felt stung

From thought as impossible

Back bandage, same shower

Think or absolutely awake

Others only cried sure

Told it winter

Spent it cold

That plastic desk feeling