This is a collection of poems I am writing with no theme.
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Truthfully
I am trapped within myself and don’t know how to escape
I have pretended to be someone new for people who mean nothing to me any longer
My heart is always on the verge of collapsing from the constant stress I put on it
I feel smothered by my own thoughts and what the future I cannot control
I can’t change the outcomes of the thousands of what ifs
Everyone hates me
It’s what I tell myself so I don’t have to make friends
Maintaining relationships is so troublesome
No, I don’t want to talk
It’s not that I hate you I just absolutely cannot interact with you for more than five minutes or else I’ll explode
I feel as if I am going to burst from dread or start sobbing at any minute
I can’t fix me
I know you don’t notice how hard I try to be like you
“Oh, sure I love meeting new people”
But no, no I do not
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Freckles
Your freckles are aligned like constellations
I could play connect the dots for hours
You hate them, I know
I don’t understand why
Maybe you’re afraid you will get skin cancer
My favorite lies directly on the skin placed right over your jaw bone
I ask you to donate some of them to me
My skin is boring
I have sun spots scattered over my arms and shoulders
A few on my legs
I create a false identity, dotting my cheeks and nose with brown speckles
I want to look like you
Why wouldn’t I, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen
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Treason
Am I making a mistake or is this just another part of getting older
I’ve missed your friendship and the sound of your voice
Last night I dreamt of you and we were happy
We were always so different but, now it seems we’re more similar than ever
Similar problems and similar wants
I wanted you to miss me
Listening to me ramble on about nothing just to pass the time
I don’t see how this isn’t a fair trade
Thank you
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What it Felt Like
Kind together again
You found me
Razor stare
The normal picture
Life looking speed sixty
Days end nowhere
Hours came, but wasn’t out
Blizzard
Just forget doing what couldn’t
Limbs trapped
Glasses on blad
That long legs
Would trying work
Arms over wrists
Yes, I’d like later sometimes
Because I know the future
Home, say depression
Focused mother felt stung
From thought as impossible
Back bandage, same shower
Think or absolutely awake
Others only cried sure
Told it winter
Spent it cold
That plastic desk feeling